This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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