And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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