So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize