well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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