yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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