He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
