Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh god it's open bar.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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