Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
