Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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