so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We had to coat check the pizza.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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