I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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