R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize