You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
