As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Randomize
