you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
