im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
