I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize