I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
