God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize