boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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