turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
