I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
