Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
