Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
