But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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