and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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