I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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