Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
