I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
