Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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