You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize