Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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