I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
