I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
