have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
