Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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