So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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