Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
