How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
