there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
