i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
