Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
