I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
