did you get engaged???
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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