the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
