I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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