What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
