do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My penis needs a shock collar
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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