I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
