Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
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