When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
