maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
