...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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