ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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