I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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