Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
