Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
