Nicole vs. Life
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
