So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
